INFO quotes99d

28 May 1999: 1:34am (Loooong quote: Ren's on

Nobody coughs noisily.
Nobody says 'why does she need clothes?'
Ren says 'walk into vickie's secret, hi there, i'm looking for some sexy sexy lingerie for my.....significant other....who will be arriving via UPS soon.'
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: and u can't return it
<1|Wiz> Ren: hell no, they're custom made
Ren says 'your realdoll is shipped clothed in a mini-dress, bra, panties and thigh-high stockings'
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: nor do they sell separate bodyparts
Ren says 'because, nobody, sometimes dressed sex dolls can be sexier than totally naked ones.  it's nice to leave something to the imagination....i guess...'
You say 'Also, you can paint your sex doll jet black.'
You say 'or even blue.'
Nobody says 'wow'
Nobody says 'can't do that w/ a chick.'
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: Question: Do you have any rejects or used models I can buy for cheap?
Ren says '*cackle*'
<1|Wiz> Ren: yeah, i'd like a used sex doll, please.
<1|Wiz> Ren: NOT!
<1|Wiz> Ren: *shiver*
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question: Tell me more about the silicone rubber. What are its properties? What should I be aware of? What if I'm allergic to it?
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: we should have a info realdoll
<1|Wiz> Nobody: yeah, if you're alergic to it can you get your money back?
<1|Wiz> Ren: what a bitch THAT would spend $5000 on a lifelike sex doll....and as soon as you and her get it break out in hives, but you can't send her back!
<1|Wiz> Ren: no returns!
<1|Wiz> Ren: that's a pretty expensive conversation piece
<1|Wiz> Ren: i hear if some people were rich AND desperate, they'd get 2 of em
<1|Wiz> Taryn: give it as a gift to a friend ;)
<1|Wiz> Nobody: you know, if you're allergic to it you can just sell it to a friend for cheap.
<1|Wiz> Nobody: eep
<1|Wiz> Taryn: rofl
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question: I want to bathe and shower with my doll. Is there anything I need to be careful about, like water temperature or duration?
<1|Wiz> Ren: Silicone rubber can withstand over 400 degrees of heat. You can soak REALDOLL in a scalding hot bath to give it lifelike body
<1|Wiz> Ren: heat. REALDOLL's silicone flesh retains heat very efficiently.
<1|Wiz> Ren: that is also creepy
<1|Wiz> Nobody: yup.
<1|Wiz> Nobody: i think i'm gonna go stare at some code for a while.
<1|Wiz> Ren: that's right, guys, you can feel like you're having sex with an actual lifelike woman!  if you soak her in a scalding hot bath, first.  Realdoll, inc. discourages soaking actual real women in scalding hot baths...
<1|Wiz> Nobody: talk to y'all later.
<1|Wiz> Legolas: *ROFL*
<1|Wiz> Ren: it would rock just to have one.  i'd prop her up on my couch, and make it look like she's watchin tv
<1|Wiz> Ren: plus, the sex, after a nice hot bath
<1|Wiz> Ren: there's one question missing...
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question:  I'm a necrophiliac, can you help me?
<1|Wiz> Legolas: uhmmm
<1|Wiz> Legolas: I imagine you can have sex with your RealDoll even after you cut her head off.
<1|Wiz> Legolas: and even get oral sex from the severed head
<1|Wiz> Ren: Answer: Of course.  The REALDOLL can withstand temperatures to -100!  stick her in the freezer for that unlifelike sexual experience you would normally get arrested for!
<1|Wiz> Ren: i'm not loppin the head offa the doll i just spent $5k on....
<1|Wiz> Legolas: If you have $5k to spend on a sex doll, you can lop its head off.
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: u're rich and vicious...u'll do that
<1|Wiz> Legolas: 'cause you have $5k in the couch cushions.
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: That's why I don't have a couch
<1|Wiz> Ren: no!  i need that money to buy sexy sexy lingerie for my doll!
<1|Wiz> Ren: next creepy question: Question: Can you pull on her nipples hard without fear of tearing them?
<1|Wiz> Ren: Yes, within reason. REALDOLL's nipples can withstand approximately 400% elongation before tearing.
<1|Wiz> Ren: *shriek*
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: Ooooh, I missed that
<1|Wiz> Legolas: *laugh*  You need to log off of this site, Ren. ;)
<1|Wiz> Ren: that's insane
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question:  Can you press her breasts together to form deep cleavage?
<1|Wiz> Ren: hrm.  wonder what THAT'S all about....
<1|Wiz> Ren: *stare*
<1|Wiz> Ren: this is good.  apparently, in comparison to the guys asking these questions, i am a damn normal guy...
<1|Wiz> Legolas: hrm
<1|Wiz> Ren: here we go...
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question: How flexible is the REALDOLL?
<1|Wiz> Ren: REALDOLL's silicone skin is extremely flexible and will sustain almost any reasonable position. There are some positions which are more stressful on both the silicone flesh and the internal joints. REALDOLL cannot be "twisted into a pretzel," compressed into a tight fetal position, or squeezed into a small storage area.
<1|Wiz> Ren: 'any reasonable position'
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question: What is the range of the doll's joints? REALDOLL's joints have a very good range of movement -- about 180 degrees or more, in most cases.
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: better than what I can do
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question: How much weight can the doll support? REALDOLL can safely support over 600 lbs.
<1|Wiz> Ren: That's right, you fat bastards!  Here's a woman who can support you!
<1|Wiz> Legolas: *laugh*
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question:  I'm a fat bastard, I weight nearly 600 pounds.  Will I destroy my REALDOLL if we get passionate?
<1|Wiz> Ren: *shriek*
<1|Wiz> Ren: this scares me.
<1|Wiz> Ren: i'm intrigued, but it's scary.
<1|Wiz> Ren: this also scares me:
<1|Wiz> Ren: Question: Does she come with a warranty? What happens if she breaks? REALDOLL is very sturdy, but not meant to sustain extremely violent abuse. Due to the nature of the product, we cannot accept returns.
<1|Wiz> Ren: However, we stand behind our product and do whatever we can to satisfy our customers. In the unlikely event of a tear in the silicone flesh, you can easily repair the damage yourself with commercial grade silicone caulking, found at your local hardware store. Step by step instructions for such repair are included with your doll.
<1|Wiz> Ren: sorry for the spam.
<1|Wiz> Legolas: aieee
<1|Wiz> Ren: but.....that is even creepier.  a guy with a doll that's all patched up
<1|Wiz> Legolas: "Oh my, you've cut yourself!  No problem, I'll just head down to ACE."
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: I like the fact u can repair her yourself
<1|Wiz> Legolas: "Welcome to Ace Hardware.  May I help you?"
<1|Wiz> Ren: don't worry, honey!  i got the caulking gun right here!
<1|Wiz> Taryn: rofl
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: get bored wiv sex, do some bricolage
<1|Wiz> Legolas: "I'm looking for the best kind of silicone to repair artificial flesh."
<1|Wiz> Ren: ahh, i miss the more innocent times, when sex dolls were inflatable...
<1|Wiz> Legolas: What do you think of the silicone crotch and a bit of the legs/hips only ones modeled after porn stars?
<1|Wiz> Ren: that is also creepy
<1|Wiz> Ren: i don't know that i understand that...
<1|Wiz> Legolas: like the Chasey Lain ;)
<1|Wiz> Ren: *nod*
<1|Wiz> Legolas: I don't get it, either.
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: bahh
<1|Wiz> Ren: i want to know just exactly how disturbed a freak you have to be to be able to identify your favorite porn star based solely on their genitals...
<1|Wiz> Ren: oh, i recognize those labia...
<1|Wiz> Legolas: You're pounding away at roughly 10 pounds of silicone.. do you really feel like you're screwing Chasey Lain?
<1|Wiz> Ren: *stare*
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: r we talking about the fatshortporn guy?
<1|Wiz> Legolas: or those women that buy the Rod Rambone or whatever is name is cock...
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: I could tell his penis from others
<1|Wiz> Ren: chasey's gift is her eyes....well, she has more going for her, but her eyes are great...
<1|Wiz> Legolas: do you really feel like you're being screwed by him when you use his vibrator?  I doubt it.
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: he has a vibrator on the market?
<1|Wiz> Ren: *chuckle*
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: what's his name again?
<1|Wiz> Legolas: Actually, I think they're just dildos.
<1|Wiz> Legolas: Check out, woo
<1|Wiz> Ren: you could get the ron jeremy one, it features real fake fur!
<1|Wiz> Legolas: I think that's the name of the site.
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: there ya go
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: they rub it in pork's fat and then ship it
<1|Wiz> Legolas: eew
<1|Wiz> Legolas: I'm going to hurl.
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: so u get the real greasy effect
<1|Wiz> Ren: eeeew
|AChat| Legolas@Elven: Ron Jeremy is disgusting.
|AChat| Ren@Elven: are there other male porn stars you'd prefer, lego?
<1|Wiz> Legolas: you get a weird effect watching a porno where he's fucking some woman
<1|Wiz> Ren: note to legolas:  stop mislining in the midst of porn conversations
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: he has this vicious look
<1|Wiz> Legolas: his belly usually hits her breasts as they bobble back and forth together
<1|Wiz> Ren: eeeew!
<1|Wiz> Taryn: the three pornos ive seen have ugly men in them i wouldnt want to imagine anything with them
<1|Wiz> Ren: no more ron jeremy discussion
<1|Wiz> Ren: they don't call him the hedgehog for nothin
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: it was ron jeremy, Taryn
<1|Wiz> Ren: now let us never speak of it again
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: but but but
<1|Wiz> Ren: let us NEVER speak of it again
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: but
<1|Wiz> Ren: this was the best vacation ever.  now let us never speak of it again.
<1|Wiz> Ren: *rofl*
<1|Wiz> Ren: it's a good thing i amuse myself so much
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: oh well
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: I'm downloading 5MB at 673bytes/sec
<1|Wiz> Ren: that's a lot of po rn
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: can u even start imagining how long I've been here
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: *nod Ren*
<1|Wiz> Ren: i hope it's not something like ronjeremy1.mpg
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: I'm watching this cartoon, in the past two days his two dogs and his monkey have died
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: and ppl wonder why i'm like what I am
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: the, actually
<1|Wiz> Ren: why are you like what you are, woo?
<1|Wiz> Taryn: you are downloading him, i dont ever want to see another one if hes in it
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: FAQ section, question 5, Ren
<1|Wiz> Taryn: ;)
<1|Wiz> Ren: huh?
<1|Wiz> Ren: the price one?
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: I have a FAQ section too
<1|Wiz> Legolas: Flaming Ass Queer?
|0|Chat| Legolas: huge dick, huge belly
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: it's in between Question: how big r your breasts
|0|Chat| Legolas: *shriek*
|0|Chat| Nirvana: looks just like super mario
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: and Question: You kidding me??
|0|Chat| Nirvana: which would explain his movie "Super Hornio Brothers"
|0|Chat| WooHoo: rofl
<1|Wiz> Sex_With_Ren: hes Ugly i think
<1|Wiz> Ren: i don't think i have that page bookmarked yet...
|0|Chat| Legolas: *slapf*
<1|Wiz> Sex_With_Ren: hey now
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: pity, Ren
|0|Chat| Ren: that is just scary
|0|Chat| WooHoo: I admire all 'em pornmakers
<1|Wiz> Sex_With_Ren: why do ialways get the name changes? :)
|0|Chat| WooHoo: such wicked fantasy has to b rewarded
|0|Chat| Nirvana: he is an ugly bastard...but he's an icon for all us ugly bastards out their with porno aspirations.
<1|Wiz> Ren: you think YOU get all the name changes??
<1|Wiz> Legolas: You were the one daydreaming about riding Ren's meat popsicle.
|0|Chat| Ren: *grin*
<1|Wiz> Legolas can read minds, you see.
<1|Wiz> Ren: popsicle??
<1|Wiz> Sex_With_Ren: i was?
|0|Chat| WooHoo: Nirvana, if yer penis is as long...i'll bring me videocam
<1|Wiz> Ren: you don't hafta soak me in a scalding hot bath to get me to a lifelike temperature
<1|Wiz> Legolas: *ROFL*
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: laff
<1|Wiz> Sex_With_Ren: ROFL
<1|Wiz> Legolas: *hifive Ren*
|0|Chat| Nirvana: Ron Jeremy is only 7 and one half inches.
|0|Chat| Nirvana: to his admission
|0|Chat| Ren: thanks for the update, nirvana. ;)
|0|Chat| Legolas: put a ruler down your throat, did ya?
|0|Chat| Nirvana: rofl
|0|Chat| WooHoo: only?
|0|Chat| Ren: so, even semi-average ugly guys can be pornstars?  ;)
|0|Chat| Nirvana: I am also exactly 7 and 1/2
|0|Chat| Legolas: I'd say 7.5" qualifies as "only"
|0|Chat| Legolas: AAAAAAAAACK!
|0|Chat| Legolas: **TMI**
|0|Chat| Nirvana: rofl
|0|Chat| Ren: hoo ah!
|0|Chat| WooHoo: Me mouth's watering
|0|Chat| Nirvana: *blush*
|0|Chat| Ren: good lord!  a mudder who found time to measure himself!  what is this world coming to?? ;)
|0|Chat| WooHoo: laff
|0|Chat| Nirvana: I was very scientifical about it
<1|Wiz> Ren: i don't think you wanna dig your own holes, unless you wanna be patchin em up yourself...
|0|Chat| WooHoo: I've never measured anyon
|0|Chat| Ren: that's admirable
<1|Wiz> Ren: and i think your doll's attractiveness would decline after she's all mangled and scarred up...
|0|Chat| Nirvana: but I thought 7.5 was rather average (which it sorta is)
|0|Chat| WooHoo: 6 is average
|0|Chat| Nirvana: wow, you know your stuff
|0|Chat| Legolas: I read in the Kinsey report that 5-7 is average.
|0|Chat| WooHoo: after u've slept wiv a couple nonexisting ones
<1|Wiz> Ren: $5000....goddamn.  that is $700 less than i paid for my car....
|0|Chat| Legolas: *shrug*
<1|Wiz> Ren: and i can't even f*ck my car...
|0|Chat| WooHoo: u tend to hope fur at least 6
<1|Wiz> Nirvana: get a stick shift
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: I could
<1|Wiz> Ren: there is no justice in the world
<1|Wiz> Ren: oh, i got a stick shift, but i don't swing that way, nirvana. ;)
<1|Wiz> Nirvana: no prostate stimulation for ren eh?
<1|Wiz> Ren: i will be so disappointed if none of this ends up in info quotes...
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: not too underestimate yer manhood
<1|Wiz> Legolas: aaaieeeee
<1|Wiz> Ren: my prostate is fine where it is, undisturbed...
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: but, how about the lighter hole?
<1|Wiz> Taryn: laugh
<1|Wiz> Nirvana: eek!
<1|Wiz> Ren: that is just inappropriate.  shocking, really.  *stare*
<1|Wiz> WooHoo: perhaps the airbag
<1|Wiz> Nirvana: just detach one of the hoses under the hood, and start up the ol' car....instant suction machine

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